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Fish Tales

All the experts say that a child should have a pet while growing up. They give some mumbo jumbo about how it teaches children responsibility and how the unconditional love of a pet will increase the child’s self-confidence. Perhaps it’s true, if the pet in question is a dog, but my son wanted a fish. Ever try petting a fish or teaching one to play catch, roll over or sit? Yeah, I didn’t think so. I tried explaining this to my son. I pointed out that fish don’t do anything and that we already had a cute four-legged furry pal living with us who could do tricks, or at least roll around on his back and look cute.

But Jay wouldn’t hear of it; he had his heart set on a fish. “I could watch the fish swim and it would relax me when I am doing my homework mom. Just think, no more complaints,” he said. I certainly didn’t buy what he was dishing out, but his newest angle was so entertaining, I caved in.

Of course Jay did not fall in love with a cheap 27-cent feeder fish or even the 49-cent Beta fish. No, my boy wanted the $4.99 Black Moor Goldfish. I know that, compared to how much we paid for the dog, $4.99 was not a lot … but come on; we all know that fish just don’t last as long as dogs do. To me it was, excuse the pun, flushing money down the toilet. But he begged and pleaded and the next thing you know … Hammer the Fish officially became a Fuentes family member.

I did everything by the book. Literally the book because Jay insisted we get that too. I carefully treated the water with the special chemicals to make it safe. I rinsed the tank, the fancy little water tree plant and all the blue rocks (are you seeing how the cost of this fish thing is adding up?). The filter (yeah we got one of those too) was working properly. I let Hammer get acclimated to the new tank and the water temperature by floating the bag in the tank for 15 minutes, just like the book said. When the 15 minutes were up, I gently scooped out the fish with the special $10 net because the $1.99 net had holes that were too big and Hammer could get stuck, or so I was told by the pet store guy whom I am almost certain was working on commission. Then, carefully we released Hammer into his new home.

Jay talked to Hammer the entire time. He introduced him to us all and he made each of us, including the dog, say hello. He watched his fish swim around and around the tank. Then after about an hour he got bored and went off to do something else. Three hours later … yes, three hours … Jay came downstairs to tell me that something was wrong with Hammer. I did not rush up the stairs because I knew what I was about to find. Sure enough Hammer was, gulp … gone.

Jay was beside himself with grief. Of course he insisted on us having a proper funeral for Hammer. There are no pictures of this funeral as he asked, out of respect for Hammer, that none be taken. (I am not kidding.) Through tears Jay talked about how, at least for three hours, Hammer had a good life. He had a tank to himself and was part of a good family that loved him.

My heart broke. I had no idea just how much this fish had really meant to my son. My sweet boy with his gentle spirit was hurting. I wanted to console my baby, make it better so without really thinking about what I was saying I blurted out, “Tomorrow we can go get Hammer 2!”

To which my boy replied nonchalantly, “Nah, fish really aren’t that exciting. Can we get a crab?”

We got a crab all right … that night we went to Red Lobster for dinner!  Enough said.

Sharon Fuentes is a freelance writer who has an empty fish tank in her garage.

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