These days, more and more children are living with food allergies every day. This issue affects us all, because even if your children are allergy-free, chances are they have friends with allergies.
Eventually, there will come a time when your allergy-free child will want to invite a friend with a food allergy to their birthday party. But how can you be sure your party is a safe environment for the child? It’s actually a lot easier than you might think.
Top 8 Food Allergies
• Tree nuts
• Peanuts
• Soy
• Shellfish
• Fish
• Milk
• Egg
• Wheat
Even if you manage to avoid those eight foods, however, it doesn’t mean you’re out of the woods. Sesame seed is a growingly common allergy, and kids can be allergic to all sorts of fruits as well.
Communication is Key
“The best thing you can do, if you have the time and the thought to do this, is call the parent and tell them what you’ll be serving so they can bring similar food,” says Suzie Fromer, mother of two children with food allergies and co-founder of Food Allergy NewYork, a food allergy support group.
Giving the parents a heads-up can go a long way to eliminating any anxiety. They know what allergies their children have, they know what they can and can’t eat. Living with food allergies, they deal with this every day, and are prepared for every situation. So give them the information and let them make the choice. Fromer even advocated listing the food that will be served on the invitations themselves. (For example, “Cake and Ice-Cream only!” or “Pizza!”)
Armed with the information, the parent will often bring food for their child to eat that fits with the theme of the party – a soy pizza to a pizza party, or an allergy-safe desert. “If they’re going to eat chocolate cupcakes, then I’ll bring chocolate cupcakes that he can eat,” explains Fromer. This should in no way to be taken as a slight against whomever is throwing the party, it is simply the safest and easiest way for the child with allergies to enjoy the party along with everyone else.
Don’t Focus On the Food
“The one hard thing about birthday parties is when birthday parties involve food preparation as the activity,” says Heather Hewett, a parent of two children with food allergies. “Make Your Own …” parties are especially difficult for kids with food allergies because of both the variety of ingredients usually involved and the general mess that ensues.
Food-focused theme parties are equally hard on the parents, who can’t have their kids involved in the activities, but don’t want their children to be left out. “You always worry that if you raise too much of a fuss that your kid isn’t going to be invited,” says Hewett. Fromer’s advice? Find a different theme. “The best thing you can do to make someone comfortable is to not make it a food-focused party,” she says. In fact, she recommends scheduling the party so that food isn’t even an issue. “Don’t do it at lunch time, don‘t do it at dinner time,” she says. You can skip any and all food-related headaches by holding your party at non-eating times, say between 3 and 5 p.m.
Whatever you choose to do, don’t decide that you shouldn’t invite a child with food allergies to your party just because of the allergies. Just because you’re having a “Make Your Own Pizza” party, doesn’t mean you should exclude them. “Invite them anyway,” says Fromer. “Let the child’s parent make the decision about whether or not they’re coming. It’s very hurtful for a child to not be included because you think they’re not going to be comfortable.”
CLICK NEXT TO LEARN ABOUT CROSS-CONTAMINATION
Cross-Contamination
Even if your party doesn’t focus on food, or if you’ve informed the parent beforehand what to expect and they bring food for their child, that child could still be in danger due to cross-contamination.
If the kids are eating on the same counter that you prepared your child’s birthday cake, or made a pizza, allergens can remain on the eating surface. If you use a knife for peanut butter, you can’t just rinse it off and use it again; you need to completely wash it to ensure that it isn’t still contaminated. This policy of keeping everything clean extends to the children as well.
“The main thing is just cleaning up,” says Hewett. “When [my daughter] was younger especially, I became the wipe queen and just made sure everyone had wipes for their hands. Having wipes on hand is probably the one thing you can do. If kids have been eating pizza on the counter and my daughter picks up a crayon, she can get hives.” She recalls one party during which kids were eating pizza and running around to the point that her daughter became so frightened of coming into contact with the pizza that she hid under a chair.
The best way to avoid this sort of unfortunate incident is to keep the eating portion of the party contained. “Have everybody wipe their hands and faces before they go into the play space,” says Fromer, who suggests just having wipes right there on the table and making sure everyone uses them. “Washing hands is the best, then comes wipes. Purell does nothing for food allergies,” she says.
Not-So-Goody Bags
Another source of birthday party anxiety for parents of children with food allergies are the goody bags. These traditional bags of treats, which are handed out to children as they leave the party, can often contain chocolate or other candy that can set off an allergic reaction. When the child is younger and not as aware of his or her allergies, this can be a serious problem.
“The best choice is no candy, no food, in the bags,” says Fromer, who points out that these children have generally just eaten birthday cake anyway, and don’t really need more sugar in their system. Instead of filling a bag with candy, why not give stickers, crayons, coloring books, small matchbox cars, or something that speaks to the theme of your party? No matter what you end up putting in the goody bags, it’s always a good practice to hand the bags directly to the parents, and not the kids.
This Isn’t Rocket Science
There’s no need to go overboard and try to make allergy-safe food for the party. No parent would ever expect anyone to go to such lengths, and they more than likely wouldn’t trust it anyway, despite your best intentions. There are so many allergies out there, there’s no guarantee that what’s safe for one child will be safe for another. In fact, two kids can have competing allergies, where the only food that is safe for one turns out to be one of the things another needs to avoid.
And remember to look beyond the allergies. Kids with allergies are just kids. “I think the main thing is that kids with allergies have friends and they want to go to parties and have fun,” says Hewett. “They don’t want to be reminded every moment of their lives that they have these allergies.”
CLICK NEXT TO FIND OUT WHAT FOODS ARE SAFE
So what are some of the safe foods?
The fact is that what is safe for one child may be unsafe for another. And because of cross-contamination, even foods that seem safe at first glance may be anything but. In the world of food allergies, brands matter. While Rold Gold Pretzels are a safe treat for some, other brands of pretzels may be created or packaged in a factory where cross-contamination may occur. Happily, the top eight allergens must be written in bold on any domestic packaging, making it a little easier for families to shop. However, it is important to remember that international products don’t follow these rules.
If you’re throwing a party and wondering if there’s any candy out there that is safe, the answer is yes. Dum-Dum lollipops are generally safe, as are sugar candies such as Smarties, Starbursts, or even Skittles. Any sugar candy that is gluten-free is usually a safe bet.
One company that specializes in allergy-safe treats is Divvies (www.divvies.com), a Connecticut-based company that offers bakery treats, candy, popcorn, and more that are all dairy-free, nut-free and egg-free.
David Neilsen is a Westchester resident, writer and stay-at-home dad.
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