Children lie for a variety of reasons – fantasy, bragging or to avoid consequences. Whatever the cause, parents should address it early on before it becomes a bad habit. Here’s how.
1. Look behind the lie.
Ask questions to determine the reason for the lie, so you can respond appropriately.
2. Set standards.
Establish a zero-tolerance policy with regard to lying. Make sure your child understands household rules and underscore the reasons for honesty.
3. Talk it over.
Make honesty an ongoing conversation. Preschoolers, in particular, need help understanding the difference between reality and fantasy.
4. Role-play sticky situations.
Discuss truthfulness versus brutal honesty; role-play situations where your child may need to use tact or keep quiet to avoid offending someone.
5. Give one warning.
If you are confident your child is lying, warn him once: “I’ll give you one more chance to tell me what happened. If I find you have lied, there will be additional consequences.”
6. Live it out.
Example is the best teacher, so always tell the truth. Also remember children can’t distinguish “little white lies” from other lies, so if she hears you stretching the truth, it will become acceptable practice.
7. Use positive reinforcement.
If your child is making an effort to be truthful, praise him for his honesty: “I know it was hard to tell me you did this, but you made a good decision to be honest and I’m proud of you.”
8. Seek professional help.
If lying has become a recurring problem, address it with a child professional.
