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10 Tips to Tackle Temper Tantrums

Temper tantrums are common between the ages of 1 and 4; when children don’t get what they want and lack the coping skills to appropriately deal with the disappointment. Here are 10 tips to help.

1. Allow choices. Some tantrums erupt because kids want control. When possible, give your child choices: “Do you want a banana or grapes? “Juice or milk?”

2. Use distractions. If a tantrum starts to brew, quickly divert him to another activity – and show enthusiasm in the process. Another option? Make a silly face or say something ridiculous.

3. Be proactive with incentives. If you’re going into a situation that may present a challenge (i.e. sitting still in a restaurant), offer a treat for good behavior before leaving home. While there, praise him for appropriate conduct and remind him of the good thing waiting at home.

4. Stand your ground. It’s one thing to offer a front-end incentive; it’s another to cave with a heat-of-battle bribe. Don’t give in; you’ll only exacerbate the problem in the future.

5. Suggest signing. Toddlers have a limited vocabulary and may not be able to articulate their needs. Early on, teach simple sign language for words such as hungry, milk, tired and encourage him to use them before frustration sets in.

6. Keep your cool. If his temper flares, maintain control to show him you cannot be manipulated by his behavior.

7. Close contact. Sometimes a gentle hug without words can provide a calming sense of security and reassure him of your love, no matter how he’s behaving.

8. Speak calmly. Talk in a firm but soothing voice and let him know you love him but his behavior is unacceptable and getting him nowhere. If he’s past the point of reasoning, ignore it.

9. Take time out. Remove your child to a place where he’s not in danger of injuring himself or others. Then, give him time to emotionally regroup. When he calms down, discuss healthy ways to deal with frustrations before they escalate.

10. Change the scenery. If the meltdown occurs in public, be pleasant and promptly exit the setting until he can calm down.