Entitlement happens in every family. Every one of us feels entitled to something on some level – whether it’s a stuffed animal we’ve slept with since birth, our smartphone or simply a good night’s sleep. These entitlements are all good things, and we might not be able to imagine life without them. If we think about them, we’re grateful for them – but there’s no question there are some things we take for granted. And our kids do, too.
Entitlement isn’t really a disease, but it has hit epidemic levels in our society. And it’s certainly not only rich kids who are afflicted. The entitlement problem spans classes and cultures. It’s also not only about stuff. Entitled kids believe the world revolves around them. They expect things to be done for them, a path to happiness cleared and smoothed, without putting in much effort themselves. They feel that something is wrong if they’re not happy. At any given minute, they should be having the time of their lives because after all, you only live once.
How does the entitlement epidemic show itself in the typical household? Here are a few clues you might have an entitlement problem in your home:
- You find yourself exasperated at your children’s demands but cave in anyway.
- You’re exhausted keeping up with the house, but everyone’s too busy watching TV to help.
- You can’t make it through the grocery store without buying a treat.
- You’re frequently supplementing your kids’ allowance. You take responsibility for your kids by doing things for them that you know they should be able to do for themselves.
- You resort to bribes or rewards to get cooperation from your kids.
- You frequently rescue your kids by driving forgotten items to school or reminding them about their deadlines.
- Your child frequently takes issue with rules and expectations at school or during activities.
- Your child is quick to blame others for anything that goes wrong.
- Your child tries to manipulate others to get his way.
- Your child commonly sulks or throws a fit when she doesn’t get her way.
- Your child often complains of being bored and wants to be entertained by you.
- Your child finds it really difficult to wait patiently for something he wants.
Does this sound like a child you know? If there is an entitlement outbreak at your house you can learn how to set up limits with consequences and teach your children responsibility and decision-making. By taking action now you can rid your home of entitlement behavior and raise resilient, respectful and successful children.
Amy McCready is the author of The “Me, Me, Me” Epidemic (Perigee, 2015) and the Founder of Positive Parenting Solutions. She has appeared on the TODAY show, Rachael Ray, CNN, Fox & Friends and MSNBC. AmyMcCready.com.
