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Last Laugh (Aug 2012)

Question: By the end of summer, when you have finally run out of ideas and it is a gazillion degrees outside … what do you do?

Our Answer: My kids and I decided to go to the bookstore and browse around in the air conditioning. The kids were paging through one of those fancy dog magazines (you know, the ones with pictures of pampered pooches lounging on leather sofas with a champagne glass of kibble next to them) when they spotted an article on how to test your dog’s intelligence. Before I could even say Rin Tin Tin, my kids were standing in line to buy the glossy slick and hurrying me home so they could administer said test to prove to the world that our rescued mutt Stanley was indeed a genius. Since I am not one who would ever step in the way of scientific exploration, not to mention that I was fresh out of ideas of my own and a wee bit curious to see just how clever our canine friend really was, I let them proceed.

Experiment: Our doggie IQ test consisted of: Test One: Throwing a towel over the poor dog’s head to see how fast he freed himself. Test Two: Seeing if he answered to the word “Refrigerator” instead of his name. Test Three: Staring directly into his face then smiling to see what he would do. Test Four: Placing a treat far enough under a chair so his head could not get through and see if he used his paw to retrieve it. You will be happy to know that our Stanley was able to wiggle out from the oversized hankie in less than five seconds and answers to anything if you have food in your hand. In response to their smiles he not only wagged his tail but proceeded to plant tons of sticky wet kisses all over their faces and last but not least was most certainly able to whack the treat out from under the chair using his paw.

Refine the Idea: After I saw just how accurate this test was I decided to administer it to my kids, all in the name of science of course.

 

Experiment: My children’s IQ test consisted of: Test One: I moved their towels, which were thrown carelessly onto the bathroom floor after use, to the middle of the room to see how long it would take them to bend down and pick them up. Test Two: Call their names and see exactly how long it would take for them to respond. Test Three: Stare directly into their face, then smile and see what happens. Test Four: Place a treat under a chair and see if they will bother to bend down to pick it up.

With my materials all in place, I sat back to observe and record the data.

Test One: A towel will remain on the floor and my children will actually step over it rather than pick it up. Test Two: As I hypothesized, my children, unlike the dog, will ignore me until I hold out a treat. It also took a lot more treats before I got the face full of kisses. Test Three: Smiling made them feel guilty and eventually they cracked allowing me to finally settle the age-old question of, “Who stole the cookie from the cookie jar?” Grace ratted out her brother and Jay pleaded the fifth and asked for his lawyer. Test Four: Both of my children, much to my chagrin will not only pick a treat off the floor … they will eat it too!

Conclusion: I discovered that our dog is a regular little Albert Einstein and my kids … well they better stay in school so they can get a good job and hire a maid when they grow up!

Sharon Fuentes is a regular contributor to Westchester Family and mother of an exceptional dog.

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