When I was a little girl I thought that an “au pair” was a proper French babysitter who lived with a rich family and taught the children manners and French.
Then when I was 25, I was introduced to a fun British girl named Jane. We became friends. She was kind, trustworthy and loved children. She worked for a middle class family and was over-the-moon about her job and life at the time. She was an au pair. Meeting Jane changed my image of au pairs. I remember thinking, when I have children I want someone just like her – playful and energetic.
Yet, several years ago as a new mother myself looking for childcare, the notion of having an au pair didn’t even cross my mind. I thought since I only needed part time help and was a hands-on mom, I didn’t want someone around all the time, let alone living in my home.
Today, when I think about the money I paid for babysitting and the hassles I faced coordinating with sitters’ schedules, I wish I would have considered hosting an au pair, a choice that could have enriched my family.
As a local coordinator for Cultural Care Au Pair, I am seeing first hand that most host families and their au pairs are indeed living together happily. They reap mutual benefits. The host family receives cost-effective, flexible childcare from an eager young adult who loves children and from whom they can learn about a different culture. At the same time, the au pair explores life in a new country while residing in the home of an American family.
There are many options available to host families and a myriad of countries from which to choose an au pair. If a family is interested in gaining exposure to a particular language, they can seek out an au pair from parts of the world where it is spoken. If they’ve adopted a child from a certain country, families can look there.
It can be a wonderful experience for all. But at times, the arrangement can have its own challenges, from clashing customs to contrasting discipline styles. Occasionally, this can lead to an early transition and replacement of the au pair. Most relationships, however, quickly evolve for the better. And, the commitment is only a year long.
The best way to achieve success in the program is to be clear up front about your family’s needs and expectations. Communication is key. Laura, a mother of three who lives in Armonk, had a great experience. She felt her au pair was responsible, reliable and “definitely part of the family.” She believes a lot of it had to do with the match. To this end, Cultural Care encourages extensive input from families and uses rigorous screening techniques to ensure ideal matches.
Finally, because au pairs are energetic and relatively young, they often form close bonds with the children they care for. Another host mom has recently said that she is awed by the unique relationship that developed between her 4-year-old child and au pair. Nothing compares to the moment she peered silently into her daughter’s bedroom and watched as her au pair and child danced together in perfect step. It is a beautiful memory that she will cherish forever!
For more information about Cultural Care Au Pair, contact Barbara Fine Buxbaum at [email protected] or call 914-238-3410.
Barbara Fine Buxbaum is a Local Care Coordinator in Westchester County for Cultural Care Au Pair. She comes to her role with a unique combination of business management and human services experience. As a mother of two, she enjoys writing about parenting topics and using music to motivate and teach children through her partnership www.musicbymommies.com. For more infomation see: [email protected].
