While most Westchester families celebrate their b’nai mitzvah at a catering hall or country club, there truly was no place like home for Julie Scott and her family. Scott and her husband Doug Shapiro, whose family belongs to the Chabad in Bedford, knew they wanted to do something special for their daughter Naomi as she began preparing for her bat mitzvah. “The more we thought about it, the more we realized that having it at home would be the most meaningful experience for us,” says Scott, so they chose to celebrate in their backyard.
Special Touches
The family’s classic tree swing served as the focal point for their daughter’s special day. “We chose a silhouette of a beautiful oak tree with a girl swinging on it for our invitation,” says Scott, who says the moment her guests saw the girl on the swing, they knew exactly who it was and where they’d all be celebrating.
Scott hired event planner Leslie Mastin Events to produce their memorable affair. While their event planner helped Scott secure the tent, as well as a caterer and florist, she focused her attention on important aspects of the day that were truly meaningful to her family.
One of these elements was a program she created. It included the different prayers Naomi and their family members would
be reciting, as well as antique photos of the family’s grandparents.
The program also included a Twinning and Remembrance story. In recent years many bar/bat mitzvah students have chosen to remember a young Jewish person who perished in the Holocaust – a child who never had the opportunity or privilege of becoming a bar or a bat mitzvah – and share that child’s story as part of their ceremony. Selecting a “twin” in this symbolic way lets the child’s life live on in the pages of the program. Naomi shared the story of a young girl who came from the family’s ancestral town in Poland and perished in the Holocaust.
Back to Nature
After a nail-biting week of watching ominous weather forecasts, Naomi’s bat mitzvah took place on a beautiful June weekend when the flowers were in full bloom. A tremendous sweeping floral vine served as a backdrop for the ceremony. “We were able to incorporate the natural landscaping and hired a florist to have cut flowers that were so natural looking they looked like they had been picked from the garden,” Scott says.
In order to celebrate the sanctity and spirituality of the occasion and also enable Naomi and her friends to have fun, Scott and Shapiro decided to use the tent and other infrastructure to hold two events: a ceremony and dinner for adults the first evening and a kids party the next night. Rather than hire a traditional band the first night, Scott decided to surprise her daughter and their guests with a “singing flash mob.” “Naomi was singing her last Hebrew song when members of the a cappella group “613”, – who had been surreptitiously planted in the audience – began to sing and join her on the bimah one-by-one. They then seated her in a chair and hoisted her up into the air and led the guests, pied-piper style into the tent. Throughout the course of the evening, they serenaded the guests,” says Scott.
Scott says her family will always cherish the memories of their daughter’s bat mitzvah. “There was something so special about this important day taking place in our backyard,” she says. “I think it enhanced the spirituality and the meaning of the day for everyone who was there.”
Your Turn
Are you ready to plan a backyard b’nai mitzvah? We asked Westchester experts for advice on how to proceed.
“If the hope is to bring down the glitz and pump up the inspirational and casual factor there are a few creative things you can consider to make your event a party to remember,” says Westchester event planner Susie Mordoh, the founder of Greater Than We events (greaterthanwe.com).
The Elements
Rather than having a catered affair, Mordoh suggests hiring a BBQ company to grill and fulfill orders. Another option is to use food trucks that can offer different options throughout the party. Plus, if you haven’t used your minimum you can always request the extra food and donate it to those in need.
If you don’t have a dancing crowd, Mordoh says to forgo the DJ/Emcee and set up a small stage with some great live music. Economically, you can often hire a local two-to-three-piece band that can add spirit and entertainment to your event.
You can make your event theme related or mix and match. Setting up several vignettes of seating like bales of hay with blankets, couches, picnic or farm tables with runners leads to a laid back feel.
Daytime events can do without, but evening events need to consider lighting. Uplighting the tent and some of the trees nearby create instant ambiance.
DIY
Lauren Mandelbaum, founder of Party Experience Decorators and Paper Dolls Invitations (paperdollsny.com) suggests making decorations that are not too time consuming because planning a party can be very detailed and overwhelming. “Many times our clients start
out feeling confident about putting together the decorations themselves and realize it’s too much to take on. One suggestion is to keep decorations very simple. If you’re having a theme, make sure it’s not too much, after all … less is more,” she says.
For a backyard party, Mandelbaum suggests keeping it very simple. “For instance, mason jars for glasses, lanterns for centerpieces and a lot of lighting. You can also use round paper lanterns hung on a string to give your party a fun and cozy feel.”
Founded by two sisters, Christine and Caroline Strzalka, itsbyu.com, offers incredibly affordable ways to throw the ultimate backyard b’nai mitzvah with mason jar kits, wild flowers, roses and more. The elements of these stunning creations are sent direct to consumers and the best part is, each floral arrangement can be assembled in less than 20 minutes.
As you create cherished memories with family and friends, there’s nothing quite like celebrating together under the stars in your own backyard.
Beth Feldman is a Westchester- based freelance writer.
