Please give me your phone,” my husband, Phillip, says to our son holding out his hand resolutely. Our 19-year-old’s eyes darted to his buddy and then back to my husband. “You, too,” he says to the friend, holding out his other hand.
They both stiffened but did as they were asked, my husband’s calm but firm voice indicated determination so they weren’t about to question it.
Phillip took the phones and dropped them into a basket on the table. Then he added the iPad, remotes and both of our phones. “We are reclaiming dinnertime,” I announced. “No more texting under the table, watching TV or the old ‘Let me just look that up’ on the iPad. We’re going to have dinner with family and friends and we’re going to t-a-l-k … you know, like in the olden days …”
It was like sucking the life out of these boys. They sat fidgeting in their chairs, eyes shooting to their phones every time they vibrated in the basket. They were jittery, practically sweating, like withdrawal symptoms of plugged-in addicts. Last Word // These teens were plugged out of the world right now and had to actually communicate for a full 30 minutes with real human beings in front of them.
Phillip and I are not against technology in the least. Quite the contrary, we are social media networkers ourselves connected via tweeting, Facebook, LinkedIn, YouTube, blogging, texting and a number of websites. We enjoy the latest gadgets and encourage our children to learn and use technology to stay abreast of the latest innovation and advancements in the modern world.
But enough is enough when it comes to family time. With kids off to school early in the morning, sports and other extracurriculars taking up afternoon time, and little ones going to bed at a decent hour, dinner may be the only chance to spend quality time – so reclaim it! Even if it’s only two, three or four times a week together, make it count.
Get a basket and sound the call in your family. It’s been months now since we’ve employed “The Basket” and everyone – the family, teens and friends – all agree dinnertime is a whole lot more fun. We talk, we laugh, we joke, we communicate and we do it uninterrupted!
Once I was out with family and friends for my birthday dinner and someone at the table was sending an email. “I’ll only be a minute,” he says hastily when I gave him the eye. I don’t even think he hit Send. He pocketed the device, I pocketed my annoyance, and the evening was lovely.
There are so many people who are texting, tweeting and on Facebook updating people they aren’t with, can’t see and sometimes don’t really know while they are out with people they do know who are sitting in front of them waiting for them to stop texting! Be present with your kids, your parents and your real friends, they’re waiting for you to “see” them. Put down your techno-paraphernalia, hug your kids and really communicate. Phew! Yes, I feel better now. Happy Parenting!™
Bianca Tyler, known as the “Let’s Talk Mom,” is an award-winning television journalist, mom and volunteer. Learn more about her at theletstalkmom.com.
